Why Do I Play Poker?

January 31, 2010

Poker Optimism — Number 1 Sign of a Losing Poker Player

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 9:28 am

Every­one loves an opti­mist.  Their enthu­si­asm is con­ta­gious.  They’re go-getters.

You know what?  I’ve had an ass­load of opti­mists lately.  And truth­fully, the only place I want to see them is at the poker tables. Prefer­ably, with their opti­mistic fuck­ing mouths shut.

Here’s why? They’ll opti­misti­cally go to the ATM machine way more times than they’ll make that mir­a­cle one –outer.

If it’s so easy, then why do I sound so mad?  Thanks for ask­ing. I get tired of hear­ing how opti­mism and enthu­si­asm are the be all end all of every­thing.  Every­one thinks those qual­i­ties are great. What about their cousins greed and self-delusion?  Well, they’re con­nected.  Alan Schoon­maker, Ph.D, put it best in his book, “Your Worst Poker Enemy”- “Destruc­tive emo­tion #1: Hope”

Here’s the big secret.  Poker is really about things not hap­pen­ing.   Top pair on the flop usu­ally holds up.  Make all the opti­mists pay dearly for their sunny outlooks.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my opti­mistic moments.  I’m basi­cally a long term opti­mist, short term pes­simist. Both in poker and in life.

I play poker to watch the opti­mists drown in their own hope.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 30, 2010

Free Online Poker — a safe way to be on full tilt

Filed under: Bad Beats, Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker — Tags: , , , , , , — WhyDoIPlayPoker @ 9:01 am

I am not a fan of free poker. It’s an oxy­moron. Poker by its very def­i­n­i­tion needs to be played for money. If it doesn’t hurt to lose, it’s not poker.

That said, I have come to real­ize there is a time and place for the free online game.

In order to win in poker, you have to be con­trolled, dis­ci­plined, smart and lucky. As we all know, you can be at the top of your game, do every­thing right, and still lose. That’s one of the most frus­trat­ing things about poker. Do every­thing right, but still lose.

After a week’s worth of los­ing, either due to bad play­ing (prob­a­bly) or bad beats (unlikely) I really want to say “fuck it” to good play.  This dis­ci­pline, con­trol and smart play hasn’t got­ten me any­where, so I think.

Enter FREE ONLINE POKER.

Talk about going all in with impunity. This is the place. 9–2 off UTG, sure. All in. Flop is A-A-K and I have pocket deuces. Fuck it. ALL IN!

This is where I go when I just can’t take it any­more. I can act like a jack ass. Push with junk. Call with junk. Act like a don­key. I get all of this out of my sys­tem. Wel­come to the don­key farm.

Truth­fully, I’m not happy until until at least six peo­ple are wish­ing can­cer on me in the chat win­dow. “What?  You want to play real poker? Get two nick­els to rub together, ass­holes!”  I’m here for a pur­pose. This is free poker and I’m going all in every hand until I damn well feel and or play better.

Besides, I don’t feel as bad mak­ing a bunch of jerks hate me as I do after kick­ing the dog or punch­ing a wall.  Ouch.  For the record, I never punched my dog. I did call him a douchebag once.

After 15 min­utes of being this poker maniac, I feel bet­ter. The best part is I worked out some frus­tra­tion and my bankroll is still intact.

I occa­sion­ally play free on-line poker to shake off the shit and stress from my real game.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 25, 2010

Like Dexter, I also have a “Dark Passenger.”

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, The Bike, WSOP, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

“I’m all in!”

“I call!”

He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in dis­gust. It’s not that I got out­played. That doesn’t piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark pas­sen­ger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It’s like I am two peo­ple. On the one hand, I am a respon­si­ble father and hus­band. Patient, cre­ative and fru­gal. On the other hand, I am an aggres­sive poker player — impa­tient, impul­sive and some­times reckless.

Okay, maybe my com­par­i­son to Dex­ter is an exag­ger­a­tion. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.

I have the same con­ver­sa­tion every time I go to the casino. “Today I am going to play tight. No fish­ing. Only play posi­tion. Fold draws when I don’t have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don’t go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most impor­tantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I look in the mir­ror. Remind myself that I am in control.

Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christ­mas present. 2 min­utes later, all my chips are in the mid­dle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and con­vince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 sec­onds later.….I am on tilt, call­ing for chips and ready to gam­ble. Just like that, enter my dark pas­sen­ger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my sec­ond buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and real­ize I have been here for only 75 min­utes. Luck­ily the wall­pa­per on my iPhone is a pic­ture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail dis­ap­pears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.

I am always sur­prised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grate­ful for him as well. I use him as a mea­sure for my per­sonal growth. The day I can take a beat­ing and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of con­scious­ness. It may sound a bit meta­phys­i­cal, but that’s one of the rea­sons I play poker.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 17, 2010

Latin Ballroom or Pass the Trash

Filed under: Home Game, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

I’ve been mar­ried for 10 years, have 2 kids and almost no time to myself. If you count my inter­net porn babes as com­pany, then I do in fact have no time to myself. When I get a call to join a neighbor’s home game on a ran­dom Wednes­day night, I think to myself, “What would I rather do? Watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance with my wife, or hang out with the guys smok­ing pot, telling lies and act­ing like a 15 year old.” Hmmmmmmmmm

I arrive at the game a bit giddy. This night is going to be fun. Buy in is $80 and it’s dealer’s choice. Every­one hates NLH at home games. It’s too slow, too restrictive…requires too much tal­ent! I know this going in. We are going to play games that are just a hair above roulette in skill level. Shit, I was going to be watch­ing Tiffany and Raj do the Latin Ball­room, even if I lose $80 at stu­pid games of chance, I’m a win­ner. I’ll gladly play 3 hours of “Pass The Trash” if I can escape the suf­fer­ing of a round of com­ments from the faggy danc­ing judges about how much Raj extended his arms dur­ing the pirou­ettes. Not that I have a prob­lem with gay or danc­ing. But really? Is this even a contest?

Tonight I am catch­ing bad cards. Cou­ple that with miss­ing some of the “sub­tleties” of Pass the Trash and I am thru my first buy in. It’s only 8:30. Raj is still doing pirou­ettes. RE-BUY!

At 9:07, my sec­ond buy-in is gone. Raj or chips? Raj or chips? Raj or chips? It’s a tough one, but at this point I need to acknowl­edge the grace and beauty of Raj’s danc­ing. He actu­ally does have a place in my life. When all the money is gone and there is absolutely noth­ing left to do, Raj is the answer.

I come home. My wife remarks that I am home early. Bad night. I take my place on the couch and man­age to show some enthu­si­asm when I ask, “Hey did I miss Raj and Tiffany?” “Nope“‘ she says, “just in time.” I force a smile and say, “Great! Can’t wait to see them really nail this Latin Ball­room.”

Some­times I play poker to post­pone the inevitable.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 11, 2010

I just read a new poker book. I’m bracing myself for the inevitable losing streak.

Filed under: Bad Beats, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 5:29 pm

I know that’s it’s not sup­posed to work that way.  I would pre­fer to be able to read a poker book, prefer­able just the back blurb, and go on some end­less win­ning streak.  All of the game’s mys­ter­ies unlocked in one key para­graph. For about an hour’s worth of leisurely read­ing I think its only fair that I become invin­ci­ble. I would like to sit down at the poker table and announce, “I want you to know I’ve skimmed through some of the Har­ring­ton books, please give me the con­tents of your wallets.”

It def­i­nitely doesn’t work that way for me.  Actu­ally, it means the exact oppo­site. Fin­ish­ing a poker book kicks off a three week los­ing streak.

Even with that knowl­edge, I still love a new poker book.  Sure, most of them say pretty much the same stuff, but every once in a while some­one really changes the way you look at the game.  Or at least, one aspect of it. Like three-betting an under the gun raiser.

So what do I do?  I work the price of the los­ing streak into the cost of the book. It’s an edu­ca­tion I believe is worth pay­ing for.  The whole point is to get bet­ter, right?  If I’m going to keep play­ing the same mediocre game I should just get out of my seat and stop play­ing now.  You have to get bet­ter.  And I do.  Slowly.

I play poker to get bet­ter.  To pos­si­bly some­day rule the table regard­less of stakes.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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